Dalek Shore
by Rob Best
Summary: This is a reality show about 4 Daleks living in a party house on the Jersey Shore
1. Chapter 1

**DALEK SHORE**

Doctor Who Companion

Series, Pilot Episode

Outline

by

Rob Best

Intro - Random Jersey Shore Graphic stuff in background- Theme Music - Continuous

(in later episodes this is where we will show the "Previously on Dalek Shore" segment)

We see the characters of the show with their names appearing on the screen very similar to Jersey Shore…

Dalek Sec

Dalek Caan

Staci (hot chick in bikini)

Dalek They

Brianna (hot chick in bikini)

Dalek Jast…

Special Guest Star: Christopher Eccleston

Dalek Shore Logo appears

Ext: Dalek Shore Party House - Sunny Day… music fades…

Title Card Reads: Bad Wolf Bay, New Jersey

Title Card Reads: Dalek Shore Party House: Day One

Int: Dalek House Living Room- continuous

Fade In:

Dalek Sec, a fresh optimistic and murderous young Dalek materializes with his three comrades in the living room of their new beach house. There is a pool table and an aquarium (the entire house is furnished by IKEA). All four start driving randomly and yelling "Emergency, Emergency!" "New Beach House Detected!" There is a Fez on the ground (obviously).

Music begins to play in the background.

Dalek Sec (who is the Alpha of the group) looks around and says "The Beach House must be protected at all costs!… Dalek Jast… inspect the refrigerator". "I obey" Dalek Jast responds. "Dalek Can and Dalek They… you will inspect the Party Deck". "I obey" they both remark out of sequence. Dalek Caan and Dalek They inspect the party deck. There is a hot tub and a big ass bed. "Prepare to be annihilated!" Dalek Caan remarks as he looks down upon the scantily clad college student party people who are walking on the boardwalk in front of the beach house.

"We must now select our sleeping chambers!" Dalek Sec announces very abruptly.

INT. One Of The Bedrooms - Continuous

Dalek They and Dalek Caan are rolling around inside one of he rooms with their heads swiveling. "This sleeping chamber shall be sufficient". "NEGATIVE!… These is my sleeping chamber!" They bicker over the room and the argument quickly develops. "Exterminate!" one of them screams and they begin shooting lasers at each other and soon they have destroyed everything in the room and everything is on fire.

INT. Kitchen

Dalek Jast is wondering around wearing an apron (he is the domestic one).

Fade In:

INT. Dalek Secs Bedroom - Continuous

Dalek Sec is rolling around with his head swiveling slightly. He somehow opens the closet and he moves backwards quickly and his lights intensify. "Emergency!.. Identify yourself… you will Identify!"

Fade In:

EXT. Boardwalk - Sunny Daylight

Daleks Caan, They and Jast are rolling through a crowd of hot girls in bikinis and college dudes. They are handing out fliers that are attached to their laser cannons. The are yelling orders. "You will attend our keg party!" "You Will attend!" "There will be social interaction!" "Chicks drink for free!" "There will be a band!" "There will be round things!" "What are the round things?" "I have no idea!"

INT. Confession Chamber

Staci is twirling her hair and says "Dalek Caan is like totally the hottest guy in the house… his accent is so cute, I think he is Austrailian…"

EXT. Boardwalk - Sunny Daylight

Dalek Caan abruptly shouts "Seek… Locate… Destroy!" and begins killing people with his laser cannon, his fellow Daleks also begin killing, the victims light up and their skeletons turn blue, like they normally would when being shot by a Dalek, and there is blood and guts flying everywhere. Note: The deaths on this show will be like the ones on Doctor Who, except that there will be a gratuitous about of blood and guts and flying meat and brains and stuff.

INT. Confession Chamber

Staci continues "I think we have a real connection you know? Like we are totally going to hook up…"

Fade In:

INT. Dalek Secs Bedroom - Continuous

Dalek Sec, brimming with confidence has found himself, with laser cannon fully armed, and his lights at their utmost intense, in a face to face showdown with a small kitten. The kitten looks at Dalek Sec and thinks to itself "this is not food". "You will IDENTIFY!" Sec demands. The kitten meows at him.

Fade In:

Int: Dalek House Living Room- continuous

Daleks They, Caan and Jast enter and look around with their heads swiveling. They notices a woman with red hair setting up a microphone stand. He approaches her. "You will identify yourself!" he demands. " I am Kate Pierson… I am with the band" she states. Note: it doesn't have to be Kate Pierson, it can be anybody, but the point is this is the part of the story where we put the musical guest… think about that time Motorhead were on The Young Ones, it is like that.

There is an Ood in the corner of the room and he has a table set up with turntables on it and he is the DJ. He starts playing house music and the crowd starts coming in. Dalek Sec comes in and commands "Prepare the keg!". "I obey" Dalek Jast says as he rolls a keg of beer that looks like a Dalek into the room.

The room is full of party guests at this point. Lots of hot college girls in bikinis, shirtless dudes, a Weeping Angel, a Vonvocci and a Zygon.

Kate Pierson's band plays their latest hit single. During the song Dalek Sec says abruptly "What are these noises? You will explain!" At another point in the song Dalek Sec is dangling some string for the cat and the cat s playing with it. While the band is playing the Tardis appears in the middle of the party. Christopher Eccleson emerges from it waving his screwdriver at the crowd. He looks slyly around the room and walks over to the keg and steals a beer… he slowly gets back into the Tardis and it disappears. (Television audience applause) This concludes the celebrity cameo part of the episode. Each week someone from the Doctor Who Universe will have a quick non speaking role that will mostly involve appearing in the Tardis and stealing beer during the musical guest segment. After the musical guests song… while she is smiling and everyone cheers the Daleks yell "Exterminate" and shoot the band with their laser cannons and the band explodes and blood and guts fly everywhere. No one seems to notice.

INT. Confession Chamber

Dalek They is speaking to the camera. "Staci is a mentally inferior human… she will be my girlfriend!"

INT. Kitchen

House music continues in the background as Dalek Sec is talking to his new kitten that is sitting on the counter next to a Macbook Pro (one of the ones with the big screen) enjoying a bowl of milk. "WHO IS A GOOD KITTY!" "YOU ARE!" "YES YOU ARE!" he yells in a very loud cold blooded deadly tone. Briana sees this and starts checking him out.

Int: Dalek House Living Room

House music still playing in the background. Staci leads Dalek Caan and Dalek They into the Smush Chamber which is a room on the far wall of the living room behind a partition. There is spray paint on the wall with an arrow that simply says "Smush Chamber" at the entrance. This is a room equipped with infrared cameras. You can not see them because they are behind the partition. Staci starts making sex noises and it is clear that they are having a three way. "The human females heart rate is increasing!" Dalek They remarks. "We are under attack!" Dalek Caan yells. They both start yelling "Exterminate!" and their laser cannons go off several times. Blood and brains and guts explode from behind the partition (think Evil Dead 2).

Dalek Sec is walking toward the front door with Briana lovingly at his side holding the kitten. A Cyberman walks through the door. "Identify yourself!" Sec demands. "I am a friend of Dave's… he is friends with a guy that lives here… he said it was cool…". The other Daleks move toward the door. "Does anyone know a Dave?… Report!" Dalek Sec asks. "Dave does not compute… there is no Dave in our database!" Dalek Jast says. "Emergency Emergency Party Crasher Party Crasher!" Dalek Caan shouts. All of the Daleks begin screaming "Emergency, Emergency, Intruder, Exterminate, Exterminate!" The Cyberman starts yelling "Delete, Delete" and a large laser cannon battle ensues resulting in the Cyberman exploding, all of the party guests exploding, lots and lots of blood, guts, brains, meat, smoke, fire and so on. The only survivors are the Daleks, Briana and the cat.

The smoke begins to clear over the the blood soaked carnage. The Daleks and Brianna are standing there with their heads swiveling around. The cat does not seem to care. After a moment Dalek They starts to exclaim "Emergency Emergency… incoming FaceTime Message from The Prime Minister of The Daleks!"

The Prime Minister of the Daleks appears on the Macbook Pro screen. Note: For all of the scenes involving FaceTime calls from the Prime Minister, footage from The Doctor Who Episode "Asylum of the Daleks" will be used/ recycled as the images on the computer screen.

"Dalek Sec you will report your progress!" The Prime Minister commands. Dalek Sec pauses and looks around at all of the blood and smoldering corpses. "Everything is fine…. how are you?" Dalek Sec responds. There is an uncomfortable silence as the Prime Minister looks at Sec, and Sec looks back at him. Dalek Jast shuts the computer. "I hate that guy" Dalek Caan remarks. "He is a dildo!" Dalek Sec yells.

Fade Out:

Cheesy American Accent Voice over and Title Card Reads: Next Time On Dalek Shore:

Quick Scenes of Dalek Sec playing beach volleyball with lots of bikini girls, Dalek Caan surfing, a great white shark, a great white shark with a Dalek eye sticking out of it's head, a person in a shark suit with a Dalek eye dancing at a party in the living room.

Cheesy American Accent Voice over and Title Card Reads: Musical Guests Daft Punk and Special Guest Star John Barrowman.


	2. Dalek Shore Episode 2: Jast's Struggle

**DALEK SHORE**

Doctor Who Companion

Series, Episode 2

"Jast's Struggle"

Outline

by

Rob Best

Intro - Random Jersey Shore Graphic stuff in background- Theme Music - Continuous

Small clip segment "Previously on Dalek Shore"

We see the characters of the show with their names appearing on the screen very similar to Jersey Shore…

Dalek Sec

Dalek Caan

Brianna (hot chick in bikini)

Dalek They

Jenni (hot chick in bikini)

Dalek Jast

Special Guest Star: John Barrowman

Musical Guests: Daft Punk

Dalek Shore Logo appears

Ext: Dalek Shore Party House - Sunny Day… music fades…

Fade In:

Title Card Reads: Bad Wolf Bay, New Jersey

Title Card Reads: Dalek Shore Party House: Day Two

Int: Dalek House Kitchen- continuous

It is daybreak at the Dalek beach party house. The sun begins to illuminate the windows. A Zygon sneaks into the

kitchen and starts to look in the fridge. He gets a beer and some pizza out… and sits at the table, pops open the beer.

You hear the stereotypical "Rooster Crow" sound.

The Zygon panics and starts to run out of the room… however he runs back to the table and grabs the beer and then

runs off camera.

All 4 Daleks gather at the Breakfast Table. Dalek Jast is wearing a apron again. He drops a tray of Fish Sticks and

Custard on the table. Dalek Sec… who seems very young and sexy and confident, makes an announcement. "Dalek

High Command has given us an extremely important secret mission to carry out today and nothing will distract me

and make me forget to carry these orders out!"

"I am bored" Dalek They states.

"I want to go to the beach" Dalek Caan says.

Dalek Sec tells them "Nothing will will prevent me from carrying out the Supreme High Comman…"

"I do not feel like I belong!" Dalek Jast interrupts. "I feel that I do not fit in with the other Daleks and I am ashamed and

depressed!"

Dalek Sec announces "The Supreme High Command has…."

"Dalek Jast you should not feel sad" Dalek Caan interrupts.

"I am really bored, why can't we do things outside?" Dalek They interjects.

"We have received an Executive Order from the Admiralty…" Dalek Sec starts to say…

"All I am trying to say is I am at a turning point in my life… a sort of paradigm shift" Jast states.

"Meeting is finalized!… Seek locate destroy!"

"I obey" all Daleks reply out of sequence.

Fade In:

Ext: Beach, sunny day

(Note: this scene, as in the entire series is shot on a small closed set, with very bad green screen effects and very

badly done computer animation… think Young Ones meets Tosh.0)

A crudely made volleyball court with beach sand on the floor is in front of a green screen with a shot of an ocean is

in the background. 3 hot girls with huge boobs in very small tight bikinis are hopping around in slow motion playing

Volleyball with Dalek Caan who cannot do much other than swivel his head back and forth.

Dalek They approaches. "Dalek Caan… we will now initiate prime surfing directive!"

Cut Scene: stock footage of gigantic Great white sharks for like 10 - 20 seconds.

Fade In:

Int: Living Room

Dalek Jast is looking depressed… his eye stick looks at the ground as he mopes about the room. Jenni comes into the

room. She is wearing an exceptionally small bikini and has ridiculously large breasts, like she must have severe lower

back problems. Anyway… she approaches Jast. "Hi my name is Jen…" she starts to say… Jast exterminates her with

a laser cannon shot. She explodes into a bloody mess of brains and blood and meat that ends up on all of the walls

and ceiling and basically everything .

Jast looks depressed again. This has not cheered him up at all. Suddenly we hear the Tardis sound… and the Tardis

once again appears in the living room. This time Captain Jack emerges with a Team Canada beer stein in his hand.

He and Jast look at each other. Jack hold up his beer stein… "I heard you guys have free beer" he says with a hopeful

look on his face.

"Captain Jack… have you ever felt different?" Jast responds.

Cut Scene: Violent footage of sharks tearing things apart

Ext: Very bad computer animation of Dalek They and Dalek Caan surfing.

(Note: This entire sequence will be made with very bad green screens, computer animation and possibly puppets.)

They surf for a few short scenes… they wipe out and meet some very ferocious sharks. "Identify yourselves! You will

identify!" Dalek They demands.

Cut Scene: Move violent shark footage.

"These beings are OUTSTANDING!" Dalek Caan remarks.

"They will become Dalek Units!" Dalek They responds.

Title Card Reads: Dalek Strategic Meeting

Title Card Reads: Living Room

Dalek Sec announces "Nothing shall distract me from…"

Suddenly the room is flooded with hot chicks in extremely tight bikinis and very very big boobs, frat guys, the Zygon

from before, a cyberman, 2 Sontarans and some people in shark suits (that look like the dancing sharks from

Katy Perry's super bowl halftime show) except they have Dalek eye sticks sticking out of their heads.

The musical guest performs. It can be Daft Punk if you like… or whoever… doesn't matter. There will be

several bizarre cut scenes during the song including Captain Jack partying with everyone.

Band is done. Everyone cheers. Daleks exterminate the band, and all party guests except the cat and Briana.

This results in several very nice explosions involving lots of blood, brains, meat, flames, arms, legs and so on.

Dalek Sec states: "Now that I have your attention I can discuss the Prime Directive I have received from the Dalek

Supreme Comman…"

"I am gay" Dalek Jast interrupts.

All Daleks, and Briana and the cat all look at each other in a very confused manner. There is lots of head swiveling.

"…. And?…" Dalek Caan asks.

" I did not think that you guys would still be my friends…" Jast says.

"Sexuality is INSIGNIFICANT!" Dalek Sec exclaims. "No one cares!"

The cat looks at them.

"Dalek Jast… you will complete the top secret mission from Dalek High Command" Sec says.

"I obey!" Jast replies in a very chipper optimistic tone.

Cut Scene: More poorly animated scenes of Daleks surfing

Int: Living Room

All 3 remaining Daleks… plus Briana and the cat are in the living room. "Alert… Alert… incoming FaceTime message

from the Prime Minister!" Dalek Caan announces. They all approach the Mac Book Pro on the breakfast nook. The

same stock footage from episode one is shown on the screen.

"Dalek Sec… you will report your progress on your destruction of the human race!" The Dalek Prime Minister

demands.

"Eat a bowl of dicks" Sec replies. "Pussy" Dalek They says as he slams the laptop closed.

Suddenly the front door explodes and Dalek Jast enders rapidly. He is wearing a dress and a girly wig and lipstick, also

he has a burlap bag attached to his laser cannon. "Dalek Sec… Mission complete!" he announces proudly.

Briana takes the bag and empties the contents onto the kitchen table (off camera).

All Daleks, Briana, and the cat all look down at the table.

Dalek Sec says (louder than he has ever said anything) "Alert… Alert… The Necronomicon has been acquired! Daleks

shall reign supreme!"

Close up on the book on the table: it is made of human skin and has a face on the cover. A blue Dalek eye on a stick

pops out of the forehead.

"Seek Locate Destroy!" The Daleks chant.

Fade Out:

Title Card Reads: Next on Dalek Shore

This segment will be a montage of very bloody exploding heads lasting about a minute.

…Ending Credits


End file.
